The Real Return: A Fear and Lothian Debut

Taking time out of skating is a point every skater has to do at some point in their skating career.

For me this has happened now 3 times. Baby number 1 took me a whole year and 2 months. First big injury took me another whole year and 3 months. Finally I have recently been off skates from baby number 2 for 9 months.

So this last time round I was off for the shortest. I can certainly credit that to the hard work and fitness I had gained in my past whole 6 years of playing Roller Derby. Along with having a better birth this time round and recovery which a large part is also mental beside being physical. During my pregnancy I suffered again from SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) and I think my teammates certainly were shocked at how quick I returned. Strapping on my skates only 3-4 weeks after giving birth.

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It’s been challenging juggling 2 children. One of which does not keep to a regular sleeping pattern and has suffered colic and is a very attached to your body baby. I made it a goal to attend all the training sessions I can while I have the time off work. It really has become my break in the evenings even though I know I will be exhausted for going some nights I need to push myself out to stop myself falling into my anxiety.

What made this very real reality of getting back into shape post baby was the chance of making my first team selection.
Recently the Dolls have joined forces with Capital City Roller Derby to form a Co-ed venture named Fear and Lothian.

To have been considered was just great itself but getting to go back on track with very supporting players from both side made the return less worrisome and more relaxed. That lead up to game day was filled with very sweaty training sessions. Throwing myself back into to scrimmages even outside of Edinburgh. Mixing myself in the world of the Roller Derby community that I haven’t been around for quite a while. Investing in a new visor helmet (finally making the plunge after 2 years of deliberating it) which has been a great saver given height differences and me really just pushing myself and finding my feet again.

Game day arrived and we made the trip through to Glasgow to play Mean City Roller Derby’s Co-ed team. I didn’t feel the nerves until we got on track to warm up. Not even during getting kitted up did I really realise I was about to be playing against some tough and solid opponents. It was a game we went into only having trained for a month together and I was seriously proud of how we played as a whole. Maybe being the more unknown and no previous expectations helped calm my nerves down in the first few jams helped and I slowly found my groove within the gameplay. Managing to get no penalties in the first half, a very proud moment. I even did one jam where I jammed. I mean I did get sent to the bin but came out with a fire and skipped right through their wall.

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I made the fearful return and played in public after 3 months of training, the game was over and even though we didn’t come out with the win from the scores our team done a win in seeing what we could do in such a short time. It has turned my fearful return back to skating into drive to see where I can get myself in the next year.